.Tuesday, June 15, 2010 ' 10:28 AM Y
BACK TO SQUARE ONE.Hello Loves.perhaps i may put this title before,but this is really the only phrase that could really describe my feeling now.today i went out with liting and desmond to compass.seeing them doing their excel and helping them to do,making me feeling like i'm one of their grp member trying to help,and that feelings were like we were doing project during secondary school.makes me,think of the past again,which is like back to square one. for those who know about my interview tmr,i'm still thinking whether to go or not. i know that its worrying for me to go alone as it maybe some scam or whatsoever.but honestly saying i felt very happy when i received that call,coz i never dreamt that there would be such day for me,an imperfect girl.i will consider and re-consider again.thanks for the concern everyone,i will definitely not go alone.thats too scary.i was waiting for you to say that sentence.you jolly well know its dangerous and you told me its unsafe to go alone.have you ever think that i'm waiting for you to say that you'll be my guardian angel and follow me there?what did you tell me instead?hire one body guard and bring him there?or asking another guy to bring me there?i dont know why but i felt very pissed off when you told me all this stuffs.why dont you just say that you'll go with me?at least i will feel better.yeah,you're just a friend,saying everything from a friend's stand.i shouldnt and have no rights to be angry with you right? as a friend,i'm too friendly. as a friend, i'm too caring. as a friend i treated you too well. as a friend i'm too busy body. as a friend as a friend as a friend.haha,i shouldnt treated you extraordinary at the first place.i fell really badly.everything in the world reminds me of you.so what you've an account?have you ever checked mine?every post of mine is about you do you know that?i tried to control,i tried to let go, i tried every means to stop liking you. & whenever i want to give up,there is always something inside me saying just give you some time.however i feel like i'm waiting for something that is not gonna happen.somehow,i'm afraid of losing you when you arent even mine.whatever,i'm just unlucky & stupid,such stuffs will always happen to me,making me heartbroken,lastly.what can i do?i can only sit there and smile and tell the whole world, hi,i'm fine,dont worry. i just did another stupid thing,knowing that he wont see this,why type all this out...another wasted post.
