it's lovee;

.Tuesday, December 14, 2010 ' 3:45 AM Y

14-6
open my eyes, it was only just a dream.

i woke up early in the morning wanting to go for tutorial, in the end? everybody said that they dont want to go. i was being ps, again. isit so easy to ps me? friends, family, parents, you. they never fail to do that. i got used to that again. i cant be angry, i cant be upset. what can i do? i continued to watch tv. my mom asked me whether i wanna go out and shop or not. i just agreed and went out. i didnt check my phone for the whole day. somebody text me, i didnt reply. somebody call me, i didnt answer. sorry but i just dont feel like talking today. even i go out with my mom, she asked me whether i'm dumb or what. i'm inside the world of my own, i was listening to my ipod and walk around. went to omma's shop to shop and spent money of course. i spent alot, but the most shocking thing is my mom didnt say anything and paid for me. i somehow think that there is something wrong with me so she dont bother to ask and just pay. thanks mom for leaving me alone. went home at around 4plus and had a half-an-hour nap. gonna study later.

oh, i almost forgot that i still have visitors to my little space. to those who sent text to me, i really appreciate it. sorry for not replying, because i dont know what to say. if i just reply a thankyou, yes it will be very polite of me, but its just weird. but yea, thanks. i also needa say sorry for those who called me, but i know the calls arent that impt, so i didnt pick up. my apologies.

a little secret today. when my phone vibrates today, i secretly hope that it was from you. actually nothing changed. i'm the one making a drama of my own. instead of letting you to hurt me, i rather hurt myself first. i should avoid you, but i dont know where to avoid to. i'm afraid i see you again i might fall even deeper. i rather strangle myself till i cant breathe first, so when i see you next time, i can be nonchalant and act as nothing happen to me. but you know whats my greatest fear now? i might forget your laughter, soon.

loved