.Wednesday, December 15, 2010 ' 5:31 AM Y
15-7but it's time to face the truth, i will never be with you.i think i slacked for the whole day today, as nothing went into my head. went to gina's house to study. there were 8 of us. went for breakfast before going to study, had a quiet breakfast till ella came. she just cannot stop talking, which i thank her for that. once she start talking, all i have to do is shut my mouth and listen to her crap. finished with breakfast, headed to buy snacks and go to gina's house. start studying for 2plus hours, was writing notes about maec. then behind me start to have laughters. the girls start to play. then we start to eat like nobody's business. until 4, they went to buy food, and i was with xw & adila & mae in the room. they came back with my chilli crab cup noodle and went to eat with adila mae & ella. we chatted for about an hour plus. & yea we were exchanging secrets. today is the day, i laughed really hard. thanks to the 6 girls that went to study with me. well, they somehow knew that i was not in any good mood so they just crap around to make me laugh. & of course, advices. i didnt really say my story, but their advices just somehow apply on my situation. i wasnt able to study at all today, i felt so awful, if you know why. i woke up early today with a dream. f that dream seriously,ruined my morning. sometimes i think that i should be nonchalant and treat as nothing happen. i know that one day i would say that wtf why am i so dumb. but now?
i cant control the feelings & the thoughts.i should stop checking my phone for his texts & calls, i should stop checking my msn for him to be online, i should stop checking facebook for his comment. i'll only get stabs of disappointment everytime.you gave me a sweet, telling me that its yummy ,even you cant resist it. the wrapping was nice, so i took it and place it in my mouth.yes the outer layer was nice, but when i taste it for a longer time, it start to turn bitter. you tricked me and told me that hey thats actually a bitter medicine. i want to spit it out, but i also want to taste it longer, see whether will it turn sweet. day by day, it's getting bitter and bitter. it's killing all bacteria in me, good & bad. smart ppl will immediately spit it out and give you a slap across the face. i'm the dumbass that actually hope that you will tell me that after the bitterness would be the core of the sweet, which is my favourite chocolate. i doubt anybody could understand this. because you've never went through this before.
eunice you're a pathetic soul, really pathetic. you cant never rely on anyone,never.i saw your face, in the crowded place. i dont know what to do, coz i'll never be with you.there must be an angel with a smile on her, when she thought up that i should be with you...but its time to face the truth, i can never be with you.-James Blunt "You're Beautiful"
