it's lovee;

.Thursday, December 30, 2010 ' 4:30 AM Y

Serendipity

I can't explain how painful it is to wait for something that never comes.

i still dont have the inspiration to blog yet, but i'm boring. thats why i'm here. went to celebrate steph's birthday. woke up early in the morning & got prepare. decided to walk to mrt station as the weather was nice. i tend to think when i'm alone. when the wind blows towards my face, i felt comfortable. i like walking during good weather not because it can make my mood high, but because though i feel sad & start to think, i still feel comfortable. took train to TPY & meet the rest of babydolls. went to gina's house to decorate cake & card for steph. i swear its damn disastrous. went out to meet her @ around 12 plus. we surprised her at Long John Silvers' by giving the cake to the manager and asked her to pass to steph. she was in total shock when she received our cake & balloons. succeeded in surprising her. then we ate & go to watch The Tourist. it was okay, but its kinda disappointing, not as exciting as i thought it will be. see, this is how expectations works on me. went home after that, my teeth isnt feeling well. Mae was with me & we chatted. she asked me " eh hows you & purple bag boy??" "hahaha nothing happened & nothing will happened!" " WHY!?" "no reasons." & awkward silence. then i smiled & asked her other stuffs. she got back the topic to me again, and i told her, "actually last time, when i received his text & calls, it's a surprise. i dont know when i start to expect something from him, surprise became disappointment." she kept quiet & then say, 'it sucks to be you man" .

he's coming back tmr. some part of me is anticipating it, some part of me dont want him to be back.

PRIDE

Implication of this terrible disease:
1) You dont wanna be the one to do the first step just to be with someone.
2) You always try to hide your feelings.
3) You dont want others to know that you're hurt.
4) You're afraid to tell someone that he is special.
5) You're afraid of losing someone but afraid to show it.
6) You're afraid to love someone whom you think cant love you back.
7) You're so aware of what others think that you cant do what you want.
8) You're not happy.
9) In the end, you end up losing everything without even trying to have it.

this is me. i have too much pride in me.

loved