.Monday, January 10, 2011 ' 7:15 AM Y
Bad guy.There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown, things you wish you never asked, never saw, never heard or never even felt.sorry, i'm still tired of explaining what's going on with my daily life.
mentally & physically i'm really tired, but i dont understand why i just cant sleep at night. my complexion is getting bad to worst & of course, my brain. recently i'm like prone to accidents. i hope nothing will happen to me for this month. this month really sucks. it's only the second week of the year & i'm already complaining, what is this?
i know we should count our blessings & not what we're missing, but tell me how to do that? i tend to compare my life with others' life, & i accomplish nothing. if i'm gonna fail DSS this sem, my life is ruined, nobody can help me. i think i should start saving money to go overseas & study since singapore is way too fast-pace for a slow-witted girl like me. sigh i really want to cry everything out, the feelings that stuck at my chest is making me sick. i start to hate everything, except for being with my frens. they can make me laugh & smile, but that seems to be a short while only.
i'm afraid that i'm losing my soul, my smile & my laughter. i didnt expect myself to fall this deep into this trap, & guess what, i cant seem to get out...
i know that if it's meant to be happen, it will eventually happen,
but humans, they will have expectations. i'm also another ordinary girl that expects & eventually get her disappointments.
As much as I’m enjoying his company I’m afraid to get used to it because people tend to leave just when i start getting comfortable with them. i'm like a jinx, those who are strong enough to be with me, they will stay forever. those who are not, they will tend to leave & left me alone. you know what makes me hate myself the most?
creating scenarios in my head that will never happen in real life. i really have no idea what is gonna happen next.......
