.Sunday, January 16, 2011 ' 4:58 AM Y
Brace myself for the goodbyei admit, i really miss how things used to be. But i can also admit, that i've accepted the fact things changed."It's my life, it's now or never" heard of this song before? uncle just sang this song in the noon & this sentence was in my head for the whole day. celebrated ah ma's birthday at a seafood restaurant at east coast, i'm so gonna bring u4f8 to go there & eat. 30bucks & you can order whatever you like, awesome. but halfway through, i've been thinking whether should i call him or not, and i decided to call him & tell him everything that i've been thinking this week. well, its time for me to live my own life.
i'm so sick & tired of being emo and sad.
i'm not gonna listen to love songs, not gonna give a damn to his life, not gonna concern about him, not gonna involve anything about him & i'm not gonna fall in love again. you know why? because whenever i like a person, this person would use the same way to hurt me. rmb how i was hurt during sec 2? i was hurt using this method again. again. so what now?
every guy i like is gonna love another girl right? fine i've accepted the fact. i'm not gonna commit in anything,
just wanna be happy & wild. i'm finding back that old eunice.
that eunice who never give a damn to guys she's not interested, that eunice that will always look out for hot guys, that eunice that will not care of her image in front of anybody, that eunice who is a confident & cheerful girl, that bitchy eunice. give me time & i will find that eunice back, for the sake of myself. i dont need anyone who will hurt me using the same old method, i dont need anyone who will think of me when he needed help, i dont need anyone who is fickle minded, i dont need anyone who flirts & give mixed signal. i dont need. i'm gonna wipe away my tears & start a new life. its 2011, although this january really sucks to the max, but i will start anew in febuary. i dont deny that i still like him, but the only thing i can do now is to let time heal me. cousins gave me advices & i really appreciated it. they are my family, i cant really hide anything from them, they showed that the reality is cruel. the most funny thing is 3 of them said,
"give him my number, i will scold him till he goes upside down" thankyou girls.
for those sisters that tried to talk me out, thanks alot. i think alot of what you guys said & it's true that it's not worth it for me to be sad for him. i'll follow yeong's step, i will give him up. utterly give him up.as for you boy, i thank you for giving me hell in january 2011. i thank you for letting me experience the sweetness & bitterness of love. i thank you for listening me out when i needed someone. i thank you for being honest. i thank you for making me laugh. i thank you for random calls & texts. i thank you for letting me wake up from this bullshit & carry on with my life. i thank you for letting me having expectations & disappointments.i thank you for making me flying till the sky & drop onto the ground within 1 second. i thank you for everything. honestly i learnt lots of things for you. but sorry, i dont need your sympathy & i dont need you to constantly remind me that i was hurt using that freaking same method. from now on, i'll learn not to depend on others, i'll learn not to receive mixed signals, i'll learn not to invest in any guys, i'll learn how to break ppl's heart instead of allowing ppl to break my heart. i'll learn not to fall for someone who is not ready to catch me., i'll learn not to expect. i'm gonna be more bitchier, sluttier, stronger, happier.WATCH ME. i want everyone to watch me, watch me how i grow.
a boyf? i dont want already.
