.Wednesday, January 19, 2011 ' 6:09 AM Y
What if?they make it look so easy connecting with another human being. it's like no one told them it's the hardest thing in the world. it's the first post after everything happened. i'm back to square one, not really. i dont deny that i still miss him, but i miss the old him. after everything happened, i feel that i dont know him anymore. he is the one who pulled me back & ask me to be his friend, but what? you expect me to call you first? i admit, whatever i did this few days is purposely to let you see that i'm actually happy without you. however when i'm alone, i will think of you again. i know i shouldnt do that, this takes time. being bitchier & sluttier, listening to clubbing or korean songs, going out with friends and reach home late, joking around with everyone, does it really help? i dont know. i felt so dependent on him man, & that feelings suck a big time. but i must stand up at where i fall, i dont want to be brought down, i dont want to be sad anymore, i'm still continuing what i planned to do. i must train myself to become as strong as possible. every little thing that happened made me a little stronger. i watch this tv show just now, and they said a sentence where i ALMOST forgotten, it supposed to be my phrase for the rest of my life!
对敌人仁慈就是对自己残忍。i still want to be a little kind. now? step aside or not i'll kick your balls. i dont mind spending another 70bucks on buying a heels just to kick you. you want to do this right? you want to play this way right? dont you ever regret. mark my words. DONT REGRET, i've got my motivation again. WATCH OUT.
okay i should share something hilarious, when i was walking to the cubicle wanting to bathe, there is one freaking lizard that dropped down from i-dont-know where! omg freaking scary! i start to panic sia! LUCKY everytime i will bring my phone to toilet & listen to songs, so i called debbie & jacinth when this happened, walao they like listening to free show, keep laughing when i'm trying hard to survive fighting the lizard while i'm wet & i only had a towel on me! see how desparate am i omg. my 20mins bathe became 10mins, i have to open my eyes even washing my hair! for this few days i will totally shut the windows in the toilet & stuff towels if i see any possible holes that lizard will invade in
I SWEAR I'M SUPER TRAUMATIZED!!! & still got what uh, oh ya, hahaha today i climb up the stairs, another tiring stuff to do EARLY in the morning, then clement was hiding behind the wall & suddenly BOO me, WTH i almost fell back & roll down the stairs! luckily i wasnt wearing heels yknow! then he's like, "eh meimei you okay not!" "OBVIOUSLY NOT LAH WALAO" "okay okay i help you take your lap.. YOUR LAPTOP WHY SO SMALL ONLY" -.- he's my classmate for like 3 months & he didnt know my laptop is actually a netbook, SUPER FAIL.
okay i should totally go do my work, or not i dont need to sleep liao! bye dears (:
