.Sunday, February 13, 2011 ' 7:12 AM Y
空位When you learn to accept instead of expect, you’ll have fewer disappointments.hi. it's 1115 now. & i'm still not
sleeping/studying/doing anyting constructive. i'm totally screwed up. woke up at 11plus this morning, had breakfast & went out for visiting. came home at 3 plus & neighbour cooked curry for us! it's super nice! such warmth always made me smile (: went out to gu gu house to... i dont know do what, slack? i watched tv there, & cried because the show is too touching, my whole family thot what happened -.- went to dinner with those puffy eyes. & my mood is totally ruined. actually is when i reached ruiqi's house, i'm already in a bad mood, but then i didnt want to say why am i in a bad mood so i just
smile smile talk cock. but then one incident after one incident totally ruined my appetite & mood for the whole night, even till now.
on the same day, 2 person gave me blank cheques. one is, he forever dont meant what he said. this is not the first time already. & dont you think you should apologise for what you've accused me? i hate ppl who broke their promise, gave me blank cheques & accuse me in doing what i didnt, you did all 3. thanks for spoiling my mood for the day, i really wanted to walked out of the restuarant & go find my frens. the reason why i didnt because i have manners & that little bit of respect for you. another one, always giving me hope & a few days later drop me to hell. i know its not his fault but sorry, he also gave me blank cheques which i feel like strangling him after he told me that he cant go.
THANKS TO YOU TWO, the night before vday i'm in a bad mood. my 2 weeks of study break have already started, but then i havent touch on ANYTHING yet, screw my life. i'm like, sucha failure. cannot even stand of myself, tsk.
what i wanna say now is, i should stop letting my imagination run wild. i jolly well know that what is actually gonna happen to me. i shouldnt push myself into another hell, i shouldnt tell myself that this is actually the one i'm finding, i shouldnt put in any effort, i shouldnt expect, i shouldnt put in any feelings. last time i shouldnt, now i shouldnt, in the future...i wouldnt & shouldnt.
