.Saturday, March 26, 2011 ' 7:57 AM Y
Be with me?Time can heal a broken heart or it can break a waiting heart.boring day. i didnt sleep a wink last night. went out at 7plus to fetch the rest to go to pray grandpa. went back at 10plus, & was on the car for almost 2 hours. reached home at 2 plus & i watched tv. cant sleep at all,sigh. now is 1120, i dont feel sleepy at all. omg what is happening to me? i know that as compared to those people in the area of earthquake, my life is
really lucky. but if i dont compare with any others, my life really...cmi. i've been at home this few days, a good time to think.
result sucks, family sucks, i dont know where my friends go, i've got no job, no goals or dream, no income, cant give a helping hand to those needy...just sucks. why is there so many drama in my life? i thot 2011 would be a good year..nah, the first day of 2011 also sucks :/ to think back, for the past 3 months, there isnt any happy moments sia.
wa, seriously fail. it's not that i never tried to be happy or be the first one to take action. in fact, i did more than once. i told myself that i can do it, be positive, if determined sure can make it one, dont think about negative stuffs, or not it wont happen at all. but still, everything is falling down. what this means? i was wrong to carry some hope in me?
perhaps. Maybe it doesn’t really matter if you wear your heart on your sleeve or if you guard it with all your might because in the end, everyone’s gonna get hurt. i've already tried my best. there is nothing more i can do, but wait. but look up there. "time can heal a broken heart or it can break a waiting heart." Sometimes I feel like I’m mentally going to explode, and there’s just nothing I can do about it.
i hate that i take things so seriously, & littlest of things annoys me. i hate that i pay so much attention to things i shouldnt & ignore the things that mean the most to me. come on, i deserve more than empty words & promises. you know what, when I saw your name light up my phone, and i swear to you, my heart started pounding really hard. but, sometimes what you want isnt always what you get.
hahaha see, I told you you’d give up on me. i cant believe how happy i am one day, then the next something happens & i'm suddenly down, stressed & drained, all at the same time.
i do miss you, but i'm trying not to care anymore. Sometimes the things you want the most don’t happen and what you least expect happens. I don’t know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet that one person and your life is changed. the most painful goodbyes are the ones left unsaid, but the heart already know it's over.
it's funny that i think about "us" alot, even when "us" doesnt exist at all. There are things that we don’t want to happen, but have to accept. Things we don’t want to know, but have to learn and people we can’t live without but have to let go.Sometimes you just have to cry, let it go, shake it off, then move onto a new fresh start.
I’m not happy, I’m cheerful. There’s a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with them.
Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there. the people who want to stay in your life will always find their way themselves.
i wish you would want to talk to me as much as i want to talk to you. sigh, i miss going to bed with absolutely nothing in my mind. great failure, i always fall for people i never can have.
It’s an endless cycle, one guy tears your world apart and another comes along and fixes it. well, i can get over this, since it's the third time already, i'm familiar with this feeling.
